Cegrow Ber Bersabal

“WHAT HAPPENED AND WHAT NEVER HAPPENED” 

Cegrow Ber W. Bersabal 

  

            The Monday afternoon was fine. I could see the grey sheets of clouds lining upon the ruby skies, through one of the transparent glass walls of the building where I worked as one of the company’s most important persons. I couldn’t help myself from watching the scenery, although I have seen it already almost every day of the four years I have worked there. The way the skies bloomed in precious red was just so amazing. I didn’t know how but it conveyed the feeling of being hit by a brick wall. And, while I watched, I felt my chest silently bled; it made me remember someone. 

            It was years already since the last time I saw Gaile’s face. We were still young during that time; quite far from how I looked now. But, despite of the long time that passed already, still I could recall every detail of her face. How could I forget? Every day since that last time, I remember her. I could forget, but I chose to give life to my imaginations of her. She’s one of the greatest things that happened to me; I could forget, but I didn’t want to. Thinking of her always made me happy, although what happened to us in the end still continued to break my heart. 

            Everyday, I prayed and hoped and wished I could turn back the time so I could change our lives and be together. For so long, I never got an answer, until I blinked and frowned when the afternoon skies suddenly turned to grey and the city just got empty from the thousandths of cars and people all over. The sudden change of the lively world to a ghost place alarmed me. I looked around my own office and noticed that the corners were also out. But, what shocked me most was the woman in white sitting on the chair in front of my table with her elbows crossed and rested on it. Her skin shone like a white marble and her hair danced like yellow wools. Her white, silk night gown swayed as if it was blown by a strong wind. In that world leaped by death, she was the only one that seemed alive. Her rose pink lips smiled at me and spoke with music. “Haven’t you realized you’re already tired, Wesley?” 

            She knew my name. Still horrified and estranged, I asked. “What?” 

“Bringing back the past and changing it will make a new balance. You should remember that.” 

The beautiful woman bent out her arm to me and pressed my forehead with two of her cold fingers. Instantly, lights of different hues sparkled and crossed my eyes. They gave me a fuzzy sight, but, soon I looked around and learned that I wasn’t in my office anymore. I stood beneath the open skies and crescent moon and in the middle of the crowd of people walking, screaming and talking, seemingly happy. I didn’t recognize the place at first; not until Gaile walked in through the crowd to me, in a dress with red and black stripes and with yellowish feathers hanging on her shoulders. She smiled. “Where’s the soup?” 

My eyebrows furrowed in unbelief. Gaile was there. Her hair hung in brown coils and her face was so beautiful, and, young. I looked at her like a crazy man realizing that was already it – my wish. I remembered the moment; that was during the feast in our town where Gaile played with a large music band, when she used to be a xylophone player, and she was trying to finish some soup that she handed to me when the band had to start playing their score. I replied. “I really got a big mouth. I finished it already, including the cup.” 

I wasn’t really that kind before, but, I made Gaile chuckle. “I told you I’d still have it. I feel so empty again.” 

“You do?” I took the xylophone from her hold. “Well, you don’t look like a hungry ogre yet; so, no worries.” 

She stepped forward to me and shot me a curious look. “Wait – you do look different. What happened to the serious you after getting a low score this afternoon?” 

“Really I was serious?” I stammered. “No – I mean: really, I’m still serious. I’m taking everything seriously from now on – serious than I ever did. You know, I realized I should pay a lot to every detail of everything now. Missing just one, especially you, will surely haunt me for years – I’m sure of that. I just – I don’t know. I feel like for the next years, I’ll be needing you, Gaile.” 

Gaile blushed. She asked me strangely. “What did you eat?” 

“Yeah, what did I eat? Your soup?” I shrugged. “Did you put some love spell on it? Because I can feel like I’m hit by a Gaile strike right now.” 

“Whatever.” Gaile patted my chest. “But, whatever that is, I’d like you to still eat that.” 

By just that conversation of ours, I already changed a big part of the past. I was a jerk before and I barely spoke my feelings to Gaile. But, for years I have learned eventually a lot and became better, on which Gaile liked. I made the night better and the days and nights that followed with Gaile. Then, she loved me like I was the best in the world – which never happened before. It made me feel happy, of course. Finally, my dreams became true. 

Unfortunately, years later when Gaile and I built a family already and I worked on a different job and had a different but happy life, something happened to Gaile. The only thing I could never change was the fact that she had a frail heart. One day, while I was on work, the hospital reached me through the phone to tell me that Gaile’s already dead of a heart attack. The bad news shook my mind and broke me. I cried. If I had been there in the house, I still had helped her and she would still be alive; but, I wasn’t. 

I ran into the hospital and saw Gaile lifeless. That view devastated me a lot. I didn’t know what to do. But, something crossed my mind. It was the only thing I could do. I realized how selfish I had been. Gail thought her life with me was already perfect, but, actually it wasn’t; because it shouldn’t be how her life should happen. In some reality, she didn’t die at twenty eight! 

I fell on my knees and yelled again to the woman whose face I already forgot over the years. So soon, she came. She told me that would be the last time she’d answer me. I thought, if she can bring back the past to me, then she can bring Gaile back, too. I asked her. “Can you bring her back?” 

She nodded. “Are you sure?” 

I paused for a moment to think. I wanted to say yes, but, it felt like not the right thing to do. I remembered what life was like before. It was miserable. Gaile wasn't with me. She lived with her family on the next town, with a different man. But, although miserable, she was alive. 

I couldn't bear being selfish again. Gaile never died. And, although the separation would haunt me forever, I gave the woman my decision. 

Instantly, the skies flamed red again. 

Copyright © 2016 by Bersabal, Cegrow Ber

All rights reserved. No part of this literary piece may be produced or transmitted in any forms or by any means, electronic or mechanical without the permission from the author.

Requests for permission to make copies of any part of the work must be mailed tocegrow@outlook.com or +639075148008.